The Nine of Cups : The Tarot Card I Hate The Most.

I’ll be honest. This isn’t my least favorite card in the deck, and when I see it in a reading I don’t necessarily hate it either, but when I, myself am sitting in the shadow energy of this card— I definitely hate it the most.

The 9 of cups is a tarot card of gratitude and wish fulfillment. It’s about achieving an emotional milestone of sorts and although it’s normally a chill period of time, one where you can rest up, fill your depleted cups, and browse through new, more fulfilling ones, it’s also a time where things can feel a little lonely and even bring on some underlying emotional tension and feelings of frustration. The good news is, it always leads us right to the crème de la crème of tarot cards— the 10 of cups. And that sounds pretty great, right?

So, you’re probably thinking “well, how the hell could you hate that?” And the truth is— maybe I don’t hate it. Maybe I just hate what I had to go through to get to the 9 of cups. And maybe that hate in my heart (which is really just a deep sense of sadness for what I’m leaving behind) is clouding my perception and rendering me “unable” to see the blessings that I have right in front of me and in turn inadvertently blocking the even bigger blessings yet to come.

Sitting in this energy can create a strong lack mentality and make gratitude an impossible feeling to come by. And maybe that’s why I hate the 9 of cups. Because it’s that feeling of gratitude that’s needed to make it to the 10 of cups… and after what one has been through prior to arriving at the 9 of cups, ain’t nobody got time for that!

In all seriousness, to really understand the 9 of cups, and why the “hate” is present with such beautiful energy surrounding it, you have to take a moment to understand the 8 of cups. The 8 of cups is an energy of having to walk away from something/someone that you put a significant amount of investment in. Something you hoped would return your investment and take you to the 10 of cups. The ultimate “happily ever after” card. The true fulfillment, “life is good” type of vibe.

See, the 8 of cups brings inevitable, destined change. The kind that’s meant to happen because something you’ve been pouring into has reached it’s maximum fulfillment capacity in your life and there is nothing more to learn or experience from it. Sticking around at the 8 of cups long after you know change is needed can leave you feeling drained and constantly yearning for more. Which makes this a hard place be, because at the same time you’re being asked to “86” the cups you’ve been loading up with all of your personal goodies for so long, fate then steps in and asks you to follow along a new, unfamiliar, foggy path and trust (total blind faith here) that where you’re headed is better than where you are now and where you’re headed will bring you more than you could even imagine (a true wish fulfilled) even if you don’t have the slightest clue where you’re going.

Then on top of that— if that Universal game of “Guess Who” wasn’t enough for you— when you finally decide to surrender and muster up all of your strength to embrace that damn 8 of cups change, and you do all of the hard work to walk away from the familiar, unfulfilling path that you loved and have invested so much in, knowing your soul is calling you to more but it still seems like a “loss” to walk away because maybe you wanted that 8 to be a 10 so bad— that getting to the 9 of cups could feel like a scam. A set up, a fluke. An “I didn’t sign up for this” type of energy.

And lastly, to add insult to injury, it’s like as soon as you get to the 9 of cups, the Universe starts asking you all these questions like, but didn’t you sign up for this? Didn’t you accept the challenge of the 8 of cups and decide that where you’re headed was better than here? Didn’t your decide that you wanted more? That you wanted true fulfillment? Yet, now that you’ve reached your next “stop” on the way, you can’t see the betterment of your choice?

And now, where you were once so sure, everything seems so uncertain. And so you begin to doubt everything— including yourself. And you just sit and spiral, until you wake up and realize what’s happening and make changes or you slowly slip back into madness and old cycles repeat… (A little dramatic, but you get the point) What a wild place to be, am I right? It’s like the upheaval never stops.

…Or does it?

What we don’t realize when we’re in that spiral is that as much as we want to huff and puff and the blow the Universe down, we can absolutely be the cause of our own suffering. And getting caught up at the 9 of cups in this way can show you where you may be sabotaging your own happiness. So from that perspective, all doesn’t seem so “bad” right?

The bottom line is, when you FEEL like you’ve lost, and you’ve convinced yourself that what you thought would be a blessing for you is now a curse on your life, try to take a step back to gain a different perspective. Because you’ll never be able to see, let alone drink from all of those full cups behind you if you allow yourself to be internally fixated on the empty ones. Remember: Nothing changes until you do.

And maybe that’s why, when I get all in my feels, and I allow my ego to take over, and I decide I’m going to throw myself one last pitty party (or two) In that moment I decide that I hate this card.

Because let’s be honest, when you’re sad, feeling alone, and lost in the negative thoughts of all that “could’ve been but couldn’t be” the last thing anyone wants to think about is how “awesome everything is going to be” in this new life they’re getting ready to live.

The reality is that if you fold your arms and sit down when you’re only a few inches from the finish line, you’ll never make it to the other side and the frustration will only continue. And even if you feel like you’ve got short changed in some way, the miracle you’re looking for is in the shift of your perception. So do yourself a favor and get up. Then look up, look around, and look behind you. There are blessings all around you where you are right now. And the quicker your put yourself in a space to acknowledge that and then feel that, the faster you can get moving to the other side of the 8 of cups. You haven’t missed out on what you’ve been promised, you’re just not rising to the occasion in order to get it. So, go give these last few inches all you’ve got, you’re worth it.